Weapon of Mass Seduction
by Metatron-1337
Summary: The Doctor faces a serious adversary. The weapon of choice for this new enemy is, however, highly unconventional, and she seems to have found a weakness in everyone - including a certain ex-time agent. DoctorxOCxJackHarkness


Captain Jack Harkness had not had a good day.

First, the Ood had thrown some sort of hypnotized tantrum and he had to restart their entire telepathic system and extract the viral extraterrestrial residing within its processing core, and then his partner had revealed to him that she was moving to the 3rd eastern galaxy to marry the man - well, I suppose you could call him a man - of her intergalactic dreams, some of which Jack had preferred not to hear about.

Sighing, he downed his third drink and called for another.

Suddenly, the sound of the TARDIS awoke him from his drunken, depressed stupor, and he found himself face to face with a strange man wearing a brown tweed jacket and a bowtie.

"Hello, Captain," he said cheerily, sitting down beside him.

"... Doctor?" Jack sputtered, unable to form a coherent response further than that.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, I look different. But good different, right?" The Doctor smirked, raising an eyebrow. His shaggy hair, tossed to one side, gleamed under the bar lights.

"Wow," Jack finally said, collecting himself.

Then he looked up and noticed the red-haired girl making her way out of the TARDIS towards them and he automatically smiled.

"Doctor?" she called. "You were supposed to be taking us somewhere nice. It's a reunion celebr- oh, hi," she cut herself off when she noticed Jack.

"You always find the pretty ones," he murmured to the Doctor, and was answered with laughter.

"Hello, I'm Captain Jack Harkness," he practically purred as he turned on the charm fully and extended his hand.

She seemed taken aback, blushed, and said, "Hullo, I'm Amy Pond," with a distinct Scottish accent.

"And she's very very very very spoken for," another voice chimed in, a blonde man butting into their interaction, glaring at their joined hands. The girl quickly dropped Jack's hand.

"And who are you, you lovely boy?" Jack breathed, and Rory's face turned dark red.

"Stop it," the Doctor said casually.

"Just saying hello," Jack answered cheerfully.

"As usual," the Doctor shot back, shaking his head.

"Ladies and gentlemen, and extraterrestrial lifeforms which prefer no gender specific identification, a special treat for you tonight; Evangeline is in the building," the announcer's raspy voice sounded over the speakers in the bar.

A loud cheer sounded from across the audience, which consisted of many different species. Jack's interest was piqued; who was this Evangeline? Apparently, the Doctor had the same thought because he mouthed "Who?" at Jack. He just shrugged, indicating that he had no idea either.

The beginning chords of 'Take My Breath Away' played, and Jack was transported to another world. Metaphorically speaking.

She was stunning. Her hair, dark indigo which faded into lively violet at the ends, was long and casually waved, like the ocean. Her eyes, piercing and dark blue, glazed over the room like a sonic scan - underwater. Her generous curves were clad in a fuchsia dress, low-cut neckline and knee-length, tight hem, paired with matching heels. Her skin was perfectly milky, and gleamed with vibrance.

Her voice, when it poured out of her lungs like honey, wrapped around every individual's ears like a warm blanket.

Everything about her was lovely.

"She's beautiful," Amy whispered, her eyes hazy with admiration.

"Y-yeah she really is," Rory agreed, then muttered, "Ow!" as Amy elbowed him in the ribs.

"All that obvious stuff aside, who is she?" the Doctor spoke their thoughts aloud.

"Who cares?" Jack whistled. "She's the definition of my type."

"Your type is anything remotely available for physical interaction, if you understand my meaning," the Doctor said, chuckling and winking.

"She's somethin' else," Jack continued, ignoring the Doctor.

The bar patrons all seemed in rapture, gazing at the woman in grey.

The Doctor frowned. Something didn't seem right.

"Who is she?" he prompted the bar tender. Then again.

Finally, the man responded. "Huh? What?"

"Who is she?" the Doctor snapped, impatient.

"Oh, Evangeline," the man replied, keeping his eyes trained on the beautiful singer. "She's an angel," he breathed.

The Doctor snorted. "She's not a statue as far as I can tell," he muttered under his breath.

The song ended and the audience burst into applause, whoops and cheers rising up from the crowd. The woman smiled, red lips quirking up ever so slightly, and, shimmering, turned and walked off the stage.

Amy and Rory seemed to snap out of it and look around the room.

"Wow, so, alien pub, then?" Rory quipped, uncomfortably shifting.

"Lots of, uh, interesting people here," Amy chimed in.

"We're leaving," the Doctor answered, hopping off the bar stool.

"Already?" Jack blurted out in disbelief.

He raised an eyebrow at Amy, smirking. "I was hoping to get to know you better."

Rory adjusted himself to stand in front of Amy. "Spoken for," he repeated emphatically.

The Doctor chuckled and nodded to Jack. "We'll see each other again soon," he suggested.

"You would know," Jack replied, smiling and taking a drink.

They piled into the TARDIS and the Doctor began to fidget with its controls.

"Where are we off to, then?" Amy inquired, bounding up the steps to join him.

"See for yourself," he replied, turning and crossing his arms across his chest.

Amy and Rory rushed out the door, and found themselves in Amy's old backyard.

"Home?" Amy wondered out loud, astounded.

The door to the TARDIS slammed shut and it whisked out of existence in front of their stunned faces.

/

The TARDIS reappeared a minute later in the same pub, and the Doctor waltzed out and reclaimed his seat beside Jack.

"Wow, you weren't lying about seeing me again soon," Jack said, smiling, without even glancing up from his drink.

"Certainly not. The Doctor doesn't lie," he shot back, grinning.

"Liar," Jack shot emphatically, smirking and shaking his head.

"Now, we've got to get to the bottom of this," the Doctor chimed, rubbing his palms together. Then he frowned. "How long has it been, exactly?"

Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Since what?"

"Since we last saw each other," the Doctor murmured absent-mindedly, obviously focused on something introspective. ""Your hair's gotten quite shaggy," the Doctor teased distratedly.

"Well," Jack began, looking thoughtful. "It would. I haven't gotten a haircut in, oh boy, 5 years?"

The Doctor stared at Jack. "Five years?"

"Yes," he replied, rubbing his chin. "I suppose it's been over a decade since we last saw one another."

"It feels like a lifetime," the Doctor replied, ignoring the fact that his lifetimes lasted hundreds of years.

"That it does," Jack agreed, swallowing another mouthful of his scotch.

"Aha!" the Doctor exclaimed, jumping to his feet, a bright gleeful smile on his face.

Jack jumped in his seat and exhaled sharply. "Christ, Doctor," he scolded.

"Sorry," he replied sheepishly, then brightly began. "I've got it now. That woman who was out here before."

"Evangeline," Jack said with an adoring look in his eyes.

"Yes, we all get it, she's hot," the Doctor said, mimicking an American accent. Then he cleared his throat and continued, "She isn't human."

Jack frowned. "How? She looked completely human."

"She looks timelord," the Doctor said bitterly. "We were there first."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"May I join you gentlemen for a drink?" a womanly voice spoke from Jack's left, and both men whirled their heads to lay eyes on the one and only Evangeline.

"And may I just say, how very rude of you to say I'm not human, Doctor," she added, smirking.

The Doctor just gaped at her. "You know-"

"Yes, I know who you are," she said, waving her hand in the air as if bored. "Doesn't everyone? You're like the Bon Jovi of the universe."

"I rather prefer to be compared to John Lennon," he replied, miffed, straightening his bow tie.

"Bow ties are stupid," she mentioned off-handedly, ordering a vodka tonic.

"Bow ties are cool," he replied lamely.

"It's not me you have to convince, it's yourself," she shot back without a glance at him.

Jack watched this exchange with interest, then presented his hand to the lady, smiling, charm oozing out of every pore. "Hi, I'm-"

"Captain Jack Harkness," she finished for him, grinning. "I know."

"Stop it," the Doctor groaned, exasperated.

"I don't know if he's talking to you or me," Jack whispered to Evangeline.

"Not everything's about you," the Doctor snapped at Jack, keeping his eyes trained on the indigo-haired woman.

Jack held his hands up as if in surrender. "Woah, what's with the verbal missiles? I wasn't aware we were engaged in battle."

Evangeline pursed her ruby red lips and considered the Doctor with neutral eyes. "He's touchy tonight," she answered.

Jack raised both eyebrows.

The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, and was cut off when she continued with, "Today's the anniversary of River Song's death. Well, sort of. He did 'upload' her," she made quotation marks with her fingers, "to that CAL network. But, you know, it's like watching a movie rather than being in one."

Jack gaped at her, then the Doctor, then back, then again. "Wait, River, like... River, your wife, River?"

The Doctor stared at Evangeline as she pursed her lips thoughtfully and answered, "Ex-wife now, I guess. Till death do you part and all that."

The Doctor leaned on the countertop as if for support, looking and feeling a staggering shock and grief.

Evangeline frowned. "Sorry," she murmured. "I've been told I should try to filter some of the things I say."


End file.
